Today was the first day...

That I questioned my ability and desire to be a mother... now I feel guilty thinking about my baby...

From 10am to 3pm she screamed, for reasons (I'm sure) but when she can't tell you... you end up crying on the floor asking her to please stop crying!

I would collect myself, feed, change, burp, swaddle, rock, swing... of of these each lasted for about 10-20 minutes, then the screaming started again.

Maybe it was a reflux day... I don't know.

She didn't take a nap till 3, and even that wasn't without some tears. She would wake, and scream. I would give her a binky and rock and just when shew was falling asleep, I would put her down and the procedd started all over again. Finally around 3pm she fell asleep.

It's now almost 6 and she is still sleeping, sucks.... now I should wake her up to eat.... but I'm so scared to temp the baby gods and end up back in the same situation again.

The good news is that when she FINALLY went down for a nap, so did I and got like 90 extra minutes.

Brad said that she is getting tough to get back to sleep when he wakes her in the morning for food. Says that is's taking about 90 minutes from wake to sleep again, after feeding changing and rocking. (I think it's because she needs to poop, and he said that when she does, a change, and some rocking then gets her to sleep) neverless, it's still 90 monutes that he is up with her "in the middle of the night" where HE is looseing sleep.

I don't know what the answer is here.... babies are supposed to sleep for like 10-11 at night, while waking to feed.... but she is more like 8, (-90 minutes).... she didn't go back down for the following few hours today and I think she needed it!

Yesterday she was awake most of the day, we were outside and at a party, she didn't rest much... and had a hell of a time going down for a nap around 10 pm, now that I think of it...

(We are on 2nd shift, so 10pm would be like 5pm for all the normal folks out there)

It was just a very rough day after not sleeping enough, and I felt like a bad mother and a failure... I have called in reinforcements! Uncle Dan is gatting dinner and maybe a movie for us, and Auntie Amanda is comming over tomorrow to go swimming.

Sometimes just having another person around is the difference between a good day and a bad one, just that emotional support, and person that can help with the baby if you need it.

Just some pictures~!

Gotta love the life!

Fun in the sun (well... shade for Kennedy!)

Daddy time!

Making a bloody mary and watching baby, the definition of multitasking! LOL!

I had to add these for fun!

6 weeks!

We have made it breastfeeding 6 weeks! (one of my goals! The next one is 12, then 6months and one year)

Kennedy is getting so big! (well, big for her! LOL!!) She is holding her head up sometimes and her legs are so much stronger!

I think today I will head to Barnes and Noble to see if they have some books on babies... I read ALL ABOUT pregnancy, and not so much about what to do after the baby comes (hello, Rachel from Friends... at least I know that a diaper genie takes the dirty dipers, you can't leave a baby on the changing table, they poop like 12 times a day, it's a BASSINET, and a breast pump isn't a beer bong for a baby! LOL!)

I think today we will go and open an account for Kennedy, CHASE is giving away $100 when you open a checking... maybe they will be the winners!

Brad's doing good too! He broke his finger last night : ( hurts!

He is working hard, trying to do two jobs at once, while sharing responsibility and dealing with competition, TOUGH!

Another weekend!

OMG... this was a tough weekend. Kennedy is going through a growth spurt and wanted to feed all the time and was super fussy. I'm tired.

Friday I dealt with Apria healthcare about the breast pump rental, fun. Got us ready (dogs and all) and we went to visit my mom. We left her house around 9:30, after watching 17 Again with Matthew Perry and Zach Efron (cute) Kennedy nursed the entire time.

We got home and Uncle Dan (Danny) came over and I fed Kennedy and we went in the spa from 10:30-1, fed her, then we hung out tilll like 3. I fed her again to make sure she was full for the night.

Saturday morning at 6am she woke up SCREAMING! No warning, no fussing, just yelling! YIKES! We hung around till noon, and when she fell asleep Brad and I went in the pool. I got a sunburn(ouch!).

We ran errands around town (fun...) and had a mellow night.

Sunday... was a different story. Here is the list of times I fed Kennedy.
12:00
4:45
8:00
11:00
1:00
3:00
4:30
5:15
6:30 (Went to the store, needed foil for the BBQ, K screamed the entire time I was gone)
7:45
8:45(Tried to take a bath, by the time it was full, she was screaming again)
9:15
10:00
11:30
1:30

That is 15 times in a 24hour period. 8-12 is what is average... YIKES!

She also had 10 pee diapers, and 7 poops.... I guess what goes in , must come out.

I was so tired today, thank goodness Brad helped me get some sleep this morning, by keeping the dogs quiet.

Vegas has been extra barky lately as well. UGH... gotta love those kids! : )

ON our way to 7LBS!

Kennedy was 6lbs 13oz today!!

She gained 9 oz in the last week!

Way to go me!!

5 weeks!

Look what I got today!!!! Kennedy has started giving smiles! (Don't know if it's developmentally possible at this point, don't care... gonna dismiss gas, and say it's a real smile!)


We have been breastfeeding for five weeks now and are still going strong!!! No plans on quitting, but I would like to get this Thrush gone!

Going to ask the LC tomorrow.

We will also see how much Kennedy weighs!! WHEEE!!! I hope she is at 7lbs now!!! Think big!

Another one!!!

Tell me again *why* many people think that you have to get rid of their dogs when the baby comes... here is Tipsy laying with her head... on Kennedy's feet while we were all sitting on the couch!

AWWWWWW!!!!

Another *thinker* pose!

Kennedy and Daddy... couldn't get one that wasn't blurry.... WTF?!?!

Just couldn't resist!